Something I am working on. Maybe something like a psalm.
Give me Your Name in fire
in meteor steel, in windy whispers
Bruise my calloused, thick-skinned body
with the all-consuming wieght of Your touch;
Brush against my face with the tenderness
of Your fingertips
Cause me, O Faithful One, to remember
the glory of Your back as You walk past --
and I uncover my eyes to glimpse
Your Radiance;
Help me to recall my true name
The name You have called me by since
darkness, since time unending
Tattoo me with Your Love,
That I might not forget,
that Your Name will always remain
On these lips, in this heart, even in murky, milky
silence.
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A ragged accumulation of writing.
3 comments:
I love the alliteration. Strong images, especially at the beginning. The only part that didn't work for me was the Tatoo line. For some reason it feels out of place with the rest of the piece.
As for the character in my story. You could say that his struggles parallel my own to a certain degree. I think that's why I love the song so much. I identify with it. I think his end conclusion also mirrors my own.
I don't feel it's a very creative piece ultimately, because it's my interpretation of a work of art that already tells a very strong story and tells it beautifully. But I guess inspiration comes from a lot of different places.
I like this a lot. I love how you capture many aspects of God's character. Well done.
The tattoo line was actually one of my favorite parts. It resonates with me because God's love is strong, sometimes painful, often messy, and once you really encounter it you cannot escape the mark it leaves behind.
Hmm... it is good to hear both responses. I think that maybe this will be revised and reposted at a later date; Piete, I see how you could think the tattoo line doesn't work -- it may be just a choice of diction. Maybe I can go with something like the branding of the lips in Isaiah? I dont know. I think the tone will remain the same, but rhythm might change to fit the beginning a little more.
Az, I am glad you like it; I tried very hard to capture the God I know, not just in His Love, but in every facet, turning over the idea of God like a gem in my mind. So... thanks!
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