The Radio Shack Guy

Daniel loved himself very much. Probably too much. Growing up, he had a tendency to get the girl -- until they realized how obsessed he was with running his own hands through his hair. Now, five years after graduation, he worked at the neighborhood Radio Shack as the guy who specialized in making his clients feel weak and uneducated. Every morning before leaving for work, he would stand in front of the mirror and say, "You are somebody. You are a Greek god. You are the stuff legends are made of." He got the idea from a self-help book he had read when he was in high school, but tweaked it just enough to make him believe the words.

To his friends and casual acquaintances, Daniel liked to call the store he worked at "the office." As in: "I had to run down to the office last night. Forgot something important." or "So this guy comes into the office today: total and complete idiot. I had no idea people could be that dumb." He would also call the people that came into the store "large clients," or "small-timers" depending on whether or not they were obese or merely window-shopping. This made the people sound wealthy or inept, thereby forcing Daniel into a role of superiority.

When friends became intrigued at his stories, he would say he was in the "Networking and Technology segment, working for a national corporation." Should any other questions arise as to his profession, he employed smoke and mirror tactics, became unbearable and made the other person feel as though they had betrayed his honor by asking.

In his spare time, Daniel played the latest MMORPG. The down-side was that he wasn't very good, and felt the need to lie about his ranking. As a result, he also spent a lot of time researching everything related to the game so he could sound like he knew what he was talking about. Living on the couch of his mother's one bedroom apartment, he told those he met that he was subletting his home and staying in the guest house as a way to supplement his income.

Daniel was eventually fired from the Shack for, as his boss put it, "being a prick." When he got to the guest house, he picked up his phone to dial a friend and vent a little. He scrolled through his phone book, reading each name, noticing that none of these people had ever called him. He couldn't remember the last time Allison, Andrew or Barack rung him up to let off some steam. He never went to the movies with Casey, Eileen or Fisher. He couldn't even recall who Fisher was. It was then he realized he was friendless, a liar and a git.

For the next 2 years, Daniel cried himself to sleep.